She
by TheThornBird
Summary: Keiki ponders about the reason he chose her as his Queen. Songfic to the song 'She' by Elvis Costello.


She

Disclaimer: I do not own Twelve Kingdoms or the song She, by Elvis Costello

Gentle spays of light filtered through the long thick curtains, illuminating the cascading flow of pale blond river that meandered about on the silk futon. The exalted Kirin sat up on the soft futon with the slow grace of a bloom awaking to the morning sun. Long lashes parted to reveal startlingly clear violet eyes, fluttering as they cleared the last remnants of a fading dream. He glanced out the window.

A new day had dawned again as he amongst many thousands slept.

"_**She may be the face I can't forget  
Kei's greatest treasure or regret  
May be 'e best thing ever or the price I have to pay…"**_

He dismissed the maidservant that had been waiting by the doorway with a flick of his hand. She was responsible for taking care of his daily needs such as dressing and tidying, but he never did like other people to fuss over him with such trivial things. He adorned the simple black robe with a stiff white collar as he did so every other day, running a hand absent-mindedly through his long hair. A face filtered through the hazy disorientation that he usually experienced when he just awoke. The shock of the flaming red hair and the beautiful emerald eyes that complemented it like fire and water.

Yoko Nakajima. Yoshi. Seikishi. Kei-Ou. The names that she had been given, yet he only knew her as the sole reason for his existence. Recognized her as his duty and charge for as long as he lived.

"_**She may be the song the Heavens sings, may be the chill uncertainty brings,  
May be a thousand different things  
within the measure of a day…"**_

He recalled the first time he laid his eyes on her lithe figure, sitting all by herself in the front row of the room. There was a sense of loneliness and silent frustration about her, but it was the kingly aura surrounding her that had caught his attention. After years of wandering and roaming, the Kirin that was just about to give up, had finally found what it had been searching for.

Yet he was somewhat discouraged; the girl before him did not appear to be any more regal and majestic as a kitten is ferocious to a tiger. For that split second, he wondered if he had gotten the wrong person. But he was of no position to judge what the revered Heavens had decided. He bowed and swore his loyalty on that very day.

It would be hypocritical to say that he hadn't in the slightest bit doubt her capabilities as a ruler. Sure there were many that had unwavering faith in her as a mother would have in her own children. En-Ou, En-Taiho, Rakushun, and the few others who had stood by her as she fought to become what she was today. Yet how many of them ever had the experience of choosing the wrong person for a ruler? He would never forget the pain and despair he felt during her reign, and the heavy cloak of death everywhere he went. The shitsudou he had endured wasn't the worst that he had to undergo; it was the perpetual cries of the people that seemed to haunt him every time he tried to close his eyes.

Yo-Ou. She had been a young and naïve girl, as was the Queen serving currently. They were so similar, and yet so different in so many ways. One had chosen to forsake her throne, her calling and even her life for the sake of something that was never meant to be. Yoko, on the other hand, the other had chosen to flow with the fate that the Heavens had bestowed instead of fighting it. She had learned and experienced. She had gained and in the process, lost just as much.

"_**She may be the beauty or the beast, bring people the famine or the feast  
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell, she may be the ideal shojyu of my dreams  
The smile reflected in a stream  
She may not be what she may seem inside her shell…"  
**_

He strided out into the hallway scattered with servants and lesser officers. He nodded in return as a couple of them walked passed him. Perhaps it was because of the reason that she was tired of seeing the ; that she must have probably faced such trials and tribulations before. Or perhaps it's that fierce, passionate spirit that had resided in her for the longest time, just that she never had the chance to show her true self. It was, in its own right, mesmerizing to watch as an insignificant flame glow brighter and more powerful, into a bustling fire, illuminating the darkness that once shrouded his life for the last few years. He wondered if she would go on strong forever, or will it eventually extinguished like the wavering flame of a candle.

She who had the power to make or break the kingdom, and he desperately hoped that it was the latter. But as far as he was concerned, she was doing an amazing job. Kei had managed to get back on track in the last few months since the incident involving the Seikyo and his allies. The people now lived with the calm assurance that they no longer had to fear the tyranny that had plagued them. The number of natural disasters was reduced, though monsters still posed a problem. Yet despite such improvements, he still felt like he was standing on a precipice in a deep valley, not knowing when he might fall. Shojyuu was different; no doubt her eccentricities were credited to living in Horai all this time.

Yet she was different in a way that comforted his anxiety.

"_**She who always seems so lonely in a crowd, whose eyes can be so tired and so un-proud, no one's allowed to see them when they cry. She may be the Queen that cannot hope to last, may come to me from shadows of the past..  
But I'll**. **remember till the day I die…."**_

He had not always been there for her, even though he knew he should have. The silent tears that she had shed throughout the different phases in her becoming a sovereign. The insecurities written on her face as she faced her officials initially. Even the confusion and traces of sadness etched into her exotic tanned face. He might never know if she would ever succeed in leading the people of Kei into a life of abundance and prosperity, nor he might ever know if she would make the same mistakes as Yo-Ou, destroyed by her downfall.

Twin pair of emeralds that spoke of wisdom beyond her tender years. It spoke of her humble beginnings, her arduous journey, and her unforeseen future that was to come. It spoke of her anguish, and yet her joys in her claim upon the Kei throne. He glanced at the lush greenery that besieged the four walls of the Royal Garden.

Yes, even if all should fall, he would never forget them.

**_"She may be the reason I survive, the why and wherefore I'm alive  
The one I'll care for through the rough and unsteady years  
Me, I'll take her laughter and her fears  
And make them all my souvenirs  
For where she goes I have got to be  
The meaning of my life is she…."  
_**

He shook his head, suddenly overcame by a bout of frustration. Did he choose her just to sustain his life? One knew that a Kirin's death warranted its Shirei to possess. Was it the ever-looming threat of such that had him searching so desperately? Was he merely trying to fulfill what he was born to do? Or could it be because he just could tolerate the sufferings of the people no longer? Perhaps it was all of the above reasons. Just as he was proceeded to plunge deeper into his thoughts, a petite figure loomed before his eyes. Yoko.

She greeted him a smile, one that radiated the earnest sincerity of a young teenager, yet also of a Queen toward her loyal subjects. No quite knowing what to do, he returned a small smile back hesitantly. It was such a huge difference from his usual aloof demeanor, that the simple gesture felt foreign upon his face. Apparently even his Queen seemed to share the same sentiment, as she broke into a wide beam before slipping into the Grand Hall.

It seemed like an eternity passed within that single moment. And quite unexpectedly, he found his answer. Like the minute grains of sand that are swept away by the reckless winds; there will always be those scars in his soul that would never heal. They will serve as a painful reminder in the years to come.

"**_She…"_**

As he stepped into the vast extravagance of the Grand Hall, Keiki felt as though a giant burden had been lifted off him, and his spirit started to soar with its release. Sunshine always follows the rain; happiness always follows the pain. There was no longer a need to look back.

There can only be better days ahead from here on.

He was sure of it.

"**_She….."  
_**

A/N: Ack! Well this certainly took long enough to be finished.

I was listening to this song from a CD I had just bought, and for some reason it just clicked so nicely to what I had in mind for Keiki's POV. This vague idea had been pulling at my brain for quite sometime, so here it is. I think deep down, Keiki actually trusts Yoko very much, just that he doesn't know how to justify it.

I changed the lyrics to make it sound more authentic, and it was not as easy as you think it is. I wonder if I should do another altered-songfic for another character. I hope it wasn't too over-angsted nor over-dramatized. And remember, the Review button is your friend!


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